Family Equals Perfection

In Community, Knowledge, Truth, Wisdom by Cliff Green50 Comments

What is this dude talking about? My family is dysfunctional as hell! That’s probably what the title of this post made you think. But whose family isn’t dysfunctional. I know damn well that mine is. Read on and hopefully the title will make a little more sense after you read this short story.

One day my boy, Rob, his father and I were out hooping, playing five on five. It’s scorching hot outside, there are no trees for shade and there is a clear sky without a cloud insight. So the sun is beaming full force on everybody. I’m guarding Rob while his dad is bringing the ball up the court. I look at his dad then look back at him, then it hits me, they look exactly alike. The revelation was so simple that all I could do was laugh.

Ok so in the Bible it says that we are created in the image and likeliness of God. In being created in his image, we were given the ability and responsibility to create as well. When a man and a woman create a child, they will create this child in their own image and likeliness. Since Rob’s father created him in his image; that also means that Rob’s father’s father created him in his own image as well. Now think about how far back that goes. It goes back to the beginning of time or of man’s creation. If the original man portrayed the image of God onto his kid and his kid portrayed it onto their kids and so on, this would only mean that the kids of today would be made in the image of God. And the image of God is perfection.

Most people look very similar to one or both of their parents. Whether or not the parents are portraying the image of God is on them. As a parent you are your child’s god. No child is born with a Bible, Quran or the Metu Neter ingrained in their hands. You are the only person your child looks to each and every day to provide food, clothes and shelter for him or her. When kids cry and are upset, they look to their parents for all of the answers.

To the ladies with baby fathers that they just can’t stand, I’m sorry that you are in that situation, but you have to do everything possible to keep that child’s father in their life. That also goes in reverse to the men with baby mothers. Having a father in the house or a father figure around really will make a significant difference in your child’s life. Looking back at my life, I thank God that I was blessed enough to grow up with my dad in the household. It gave me the chance to see how a man should and shouldn’t interact with a woman. I also got to see his accomplishments along with his failures. There are also things that my dad taught me that my mom just wouldn’t have been able to. Plus boys tend to fear a man more than a women, making the father figure more of a disciplinary/ authoritative figure to him.

My definition of family is a unit made up of a man, woman and children living in accordance with each other. We all carry within us every last strand of DNA passed down through our ancestry from the beginning of time, but something has happened to our family structure and way of life that made us forget this knowledge and stop practicing our culture of close-knit families. When the family structure is strong, years and years of knowledge and wisdom will be passed down through every generation. Therefore making the next generation stronger than the last.

Let’s work on rebuilding our family structures and in doing so we can bring this world back into its perfect state.

Let me know of some ways in which we can rebuild our family structures by leaving a comment below. Thanks for reading and I look forward to hearing from you!

Comments

  1. Peace king
    Thanks for this piece…it’s well received with gladness!
    I’m in complete knowledge and at peace with all that you stated as it is truth…!
    Black family…holy Trinity consist of man wombman and child SUN EARTH STAR and to lack one part of this completion is hindrance to the growth and development of such family orientation and elevation!
    Most of my childhood my father was present for special occasions…I call it 5% and I was subjected to evils my father should had protected me from. I was rejected by men all my life so through my own self awareness destruction demise love honor faith self-hate acceptance and appreciation I found the nature of man and womb and what it is to be loved and to love asIam lack that knowledge in my up bringing! My parents were damaged long before them became parents and I refused the pattern as I am a great mother!
    If we do our due diligence in our community with in our families first and have a restoration in family unity Holy Trinity it would make a difference in the future of family and children’s upbringing! We need the knowledge of what it is to be family how to love and how to live the culture!
    Peace King…..ASE!

    1. Author

      Thank you Queen for the knowledge and wisdom you shared with your comment. As you stated it is our duty to see and understand our parents shortcomings, while eradicating them from within ourselves. Doing so will make the next generation even that much stronger. Peace and love to you!

  2. I really struggle with the next generations thinking. As a teacher, youth advocate, and a older big bro.. This generation is so advanced with technology, historical events, accomplishments but they love the primitive ways of my youth and my ignorance..

    Is it my generations fault for not taking the torch of being leaders in the community?

    Is it a global problem, that we are underestimating and placing in a vacuum.. Should we point the youth to Africa’s plight to educate them on apartheid and real “credibility” …

    I don’t have the answers, just fighting the good fight ..

    Rel

  3. Great Job Cliff!!! I just wanted you to know I read your article. Unfortunately, I can’t leave a long drawn out response but continue to focus on the important issues that we face daily.

    Adios

    1. Author

      Thanks Sheek! You know I’m going to fight this battle everyday. I’m glad to have queens like you beside me. Thanks again!

  4. Great write up Cliff!! I agree with the concept of doing what we can to keep our families together as well as co-parenting when things simply just aren’t going to work with the parents. However, I am a product of a single parent home and my mother did an amazing job with me and my 2 sisters. I made first generation to attend college, and set great examples for my two sisters to do the same. So with all that being said lol I am still going to do my best to create my family as one and keep it that way when the time comes :). You are an awesome writer Cliff. Keep up the awesome work!

    1. Author

      Thanks Tia! Your mom definitely did an awesome job of raising you. You are a strong, beautiful queen and I am glad that you are in my life.

    1. Author

      I appreciate it, Remy. Thanks for stopping by and showing some love!

  5. My Brother My Brother… I am so very proud to call you My Brother!!.. Very well written. The wisdom that screams from this article we can only pray sticks into the minds of the people reading this. Pray that they will spread the word and wake up because this article is nothing but the TRUTH. Very powerful. I can not wait to see more has to come! Let’s make a change!

    1. Author

      My baby sis, I love you. I go hard for you. I go hard for my nephews. I have plenty more heat to come. Stay tuned.

  6. True words Cliff! Its great to see you finding ways to spread positive messages and start/continue important conversations! If it takes a village to raise a child, it definitely starts with the family.

    1. Author

      Brotha Kris, thanks for stopping by and showing some love. You know dropping knowledge and spreading positivity is what we’re here for. Stay tuned my man. More fire to come.

  7. Well put Cliff! We need more young people with this mindset to really make a change in our community.. I am proud of u as my peer. You are a very insightful, positive and productive young man, we need more like you!

    1. Author

      Thanks Brittany! I really appreciate you showing some love.

  8. Always great to hear someone that grew up in the same area as me have a strong mind and a will to better the lives of people; known and unknown.

    Certainly, the heir to my throne will be guided down a path that I wasn’t given the chance to take. Although he is created in my image, he shall become a greater King than I. GHoDE. Cliff I love you fam. Keep the heat coming!!!!

    1. Author

      In my court of kings, Pete, I know you will raise your prince to be a great or greater king than you. I know it’ll be your mission and goal to raise him to be stronger than you are. I love you too bro! GHoDE! Stay tuned, there is much more fire to come!

  9. kudos, Cliff! Keep calling for the luv and understanding. God may grant it…

  10. Recently, I watched an episode of Iyanla Vanzant, ‘fix my life.’ In this particular episode there was a man who fathered 34 children by 17 different women. Women whom he had still been having relations with despite his negligence in their children’s lives. Over the course of the interview Iyanla asked, ‘What on earth made him father so many children?’ His response was that he never wanted to be alone. The background information was that the man himself had been neglected by his own parents. Mainly, by his father and was looking for someone to fill that void of emptiness. How this pertains to your article Cliff, is that people don’t realize that being in the image of God is not only physical but spiritual. We are amongst a broken generation who constantly seek things and people that are intoxicating rather than focusing on detoxicating. So, when two intoxicated broken souls collaborate what do they create? ‘The offspring.’ As parents, and future parents, we are our children’s role models and we have to set positive examples in our relationships and our habits.

    1. I enjoyed the article BTW;-)
      Very informative and it helped me to reflect on my choices and habits. Thanks Brother!

    2. Author

      Exactly Tequillia! Every action we take is being viewed by someone. Let’s set good examples for everyone to see.

  11. I have a couple thoughts on this topic but first I’d like to say I agree 100% with this post and it shows that not all hope is lost in regards to the next generation. Now on to my sentiments; the main idea that needs to be imputed to our kings and queens who are not with their child’s father/mother is the fact that regardless of the other parent’s actions (even if they aren’t doing anything for the child) it should not in any way effect how much you do for the child nor should it effect what you teach the child. I feel that it’s easier to say “well my child’s father/mother doesn’t do anything for my child” instead of standing strong and realizing that their decisions from here on out are not based singularly on what’s good for the parent but it is however plurally related to the child’s well-being first (and always first) then the parents well-being afterwards. If not then this could damage the child in ways that are not seen until the child has grown up and starts to make bad decisions when it comes to his/her own relationships, which then is too late. Third, I feel we need to get back to the idea that “it takes a community to raise a child, not a parent.” I was raised in a normal household until the age of four/five when my mom and dad split up. Now my dad was in the same area but he was not contributing to my health and well-being because he had his own demons/downfalls he had to deal with so all I had was my mom, my aunts, my grandfather (rip), and those male figures in the community that were on the right track. If it had not been for the community (ie my friends’ father’s) then I wouldn’t have been able to grow and overstand my own situation. But notice I first mentioned my mom because she didn’t let my fathers actions dictate what kind of parent she would be nor did she let it dictate the type of life she would give me. That is in essence the most important thing she has ever done for me because she didn’t allow anything to jeopardized my growth potential. If we learn to be less selfish and more selfless in our everyday decisions then we would see not only our family but also our community and eventually the world we live in change for the better. It also goes without saying that we must trust in the plan/will of the most high for in every situation there is a valuable lesson to learn. We must learn these lessons because they are vital to growing not only ours but also the consciousness of the next generation which in turn builds a better world.

    1. Author

      Rafael my brother! You speak so much truth. I couldn’t reply to just one thing you said. People should really read and reread your comment to gain some valuable overstanding on the subject of single parenting. “It takes a village to raise a child”, holds so much truth. The oldheads always tell you about how the teacher would spank them, the neighbor would spank them and finally when they got home their parents spank them as well. That many spankings would really make a kid think twice about his next bad decision.

  12. I love the transparency in this article. Family means to me “two or more people who share values, have long-term commitments to one another and reside usually in the same dwelling.” You are blessed to say you came from a household with both parents. I come from a single parent household and I am a single mother therefore, this article speaks volumes to me. I always desired to grow up with both parents. I never had the chance to say “I’m a daddy’s girl,” or my father taught me xyz but I thank god for my grandfather who was and is there every step of the way. My father left my mother and I when I was 1, and barely reached out to me throughout the years. I constantly tried to reach out to my father and he constantly rejected me. When I had my daughter, I called him to let him he was a grandfather so he came to visit and I never heard from him since. When I got pregnant with my daughter, the one thing I told her father was to be there for his daughter regardless of what happens between us. I fought for years for our family to work but, the harder I tried he decided this family wasn’t for him. No matter how I feel personally about her father and vice verse, I would never take away the privileges for her father to be apart of her life. Having a child out of wedlock and being a single mother made me more aware of the importance of family. I would like to do things the correct way before I THINK of bringing another child into this world without having that “family structure.” There are too many single mothers and not enough men standing up to the plate taking care of their responsibility, regardless of the situation with the child’s mother. -GOD BLESS

    1. Author

      Tay, you shed some valuable insight. I couldn’t fathom knowing that I have a baby boy or girl out there that looks exactly like me but I’m not there for him or her. This is inline with an earlier comment made by Charles. No matter of what happened in the parents relationship, there should be a mutual respect and understanding that it is no longer about them, but about the child. I know you personally Tay and through all the hardships you may have went through growing up; you still turned out to be a beautiful strong queen, raising a beautiful young princess.

  13. The structure is most definitely a vital part…I agree with you 100 percent…but a lot of these women deny the bond of father to child….because the mother is in a sleep like state of mind…she wasn’t taught the essence of being black and beautiful…because her father might not have been around to give her flowers or to do her hair…or console her…the lineage is sometime damaged from the root…and all they may know is drama. We must start programs for young parents as well as older parents…showing them that indeed family is important and that being a father is a tremendous deal and should be handled with responsibility and dignity…and then show them what to do in situations and how to interact with their child mentally. To shape and mold. We have to have programs for young families as well as old to save our existence as a whole.

    1. I agree with you. It is sad how so many of our females have degraded themselves because they haven’t had that “father figure” in their life to guide them and console them. We need more queens and kings. I agree we need to start programs for young adults and older adults to break these generational curses. That is my number one prayer to break any generational and spiritual curses within my family. We have to implement morals and values of family regardless of their situation. I agree with everything you said you have a great post. God Bless you and your family!

    2. Author

      That is so true Calso. The independent mindset of a lot of our women is more detrimental to our communities’ health and well-being than they believe it to be. The independent mindset is a part of the Willie Lynch (debatable letter) chip we still have embedded in our minds. I will work hard to eliminate this mentality and I hope I can encourage others to do the same. Each one, teach one.

  14. Very very insightful read cliff BRAVO,you hit the nail on the head with this. I’m glad you have this site to let people into your mind. We have and have had many meaningful convos that frankly needed to be heard now they will be through this site. The word will spread about your articles for sure. Your grit,grind,knowledge and drive are and will be greatly appreciated.

    1. Author

      My brother, I appreciate the love and support. Let’s stay focused and change this world.

  15. This article was extremely definitive, in the sense that family structure has roots far beyond our time, and should be cherished and revered as such. I grew up in a single parent household. This article helped realize the importance of “family”.

    1. Author

      Brother Brad, thank you for commenting. Let’s keep bouncing ideas off of each other as we work to change our community’s predicament.

  16. Very well put cliff,this WILL NOT go unrecognized. As I go through my journey (life) I see many issues that need address I’m glad you have this website that will help tackle these problems. Your knowledge,drive and hard work is greatly appreciated!! Keep these articles rolling they are NEEDED!!

  17. Thanks for sharing this! My family is dysfunctional as heck too, so it was very important to me to do things differently with my home. The start of that for me was dating with a purpose, not cohabiting, not having children without being married and of course being married. My husband and I have already started rich traditions in our little family unit that out way different than how I was raised. However, that works for our family and we will pass that on to our children. The one thing that we do differently is that we acknowledge and honor the fact the God is the head of our household and next is my husband.

    1. Author

      Right on sister! Right on! The Most High is the key to everything in life. I’ll keep praying for you and your family.

  18. Very true my brother. We’ve had a few talks at work on this very issue and it definitely matters not having both parents in a child’s upbringing. You get optimal results when both parents are in the household, however co existing for the better of the child can have the same effect if a relationship between parents doesn’t work. You know my situation with my son’s mother and I, but I believe that her and I have a rare understanding that our lives are no longer about us, but about raising our child without negativity and selfishness. Most single parents have so much hatred for the other parent that the negative energy transfers to the child. I am blessed to be able to co-parent with my son’s mother whereas she can do her motherly duties and I can do my fatherly duties without interference. We compromise and we split our time with our child equally. He doesn’t lack anything from either parent despite the fact that we all don’t live in the same household. There’s a certain level of respect and maturity that is needed to make it work, but it is possible.

    1. Author

      I’m praying that your insight and knowledge will help to better someone else’s situation. It’s so very true that respect and maturity are key to making this thing called parenting work.

      P.S. Tell your little man I said “what’s up” and that I want that bowling rematch.

  19. Hey bro, I enjoyed reading this piece. I can’t express how important it is that you provide this type of insight. Our culture will continue to improve because of your effort to change it. Words are so strong and have a huge influence on peoples’ lives. Keep providing that positivity sir.

    1. Author

      My brotha thank you! You know its our mission to keep spreading knowledge and positivity. That’s why I stay around brothers like you. Birds of a feather.

  20. I totally agree bruh….This month marks 14 yrs of marriage for me. It was very important for me to show my daughters what true black love is and what a father should be.

    1. Author

      Congratulations brotha! I pray you many more years of success, happiness, joy and love in your marriage.

  21. Very nicely written and very truthful bro. Keep up the nice work, I look forward to reading more.

    1. Author

      Thank you brotha! If it is the Most High’s will, I will be bringing much more truths and knowledge to this site. Please stay tuned!

  22. I’ve been blessed with the honor of having such an insightful son,it’s not an easy thing to discipline your children without the cooperation and understand of a mother’s love to soften and ease the punishment of a father.But never should there be a difference between the parents about the discipline,but an emotional attachment over intellectual diplomacy is very destructive to the relationship of father and children.Woman must know the full man’s caricature of implementation in discipline and understand the love of their children is mutual and the job is harder for him.Woman are blessed with baring the children for term and we are only introduce at birth.Strong and lasting marriages survive understanding the implied connections of that,otherwise deception and confusion can enter and destroy a family with little or no effort.My love for my children is beyond understanding as well as for their mama,upon the return of Christ;all is reviled.

    1. Author

      Thanks for the insight dad. I love you just as much.

    1. Author

      Thanks brotha! I’m going to keep working hard to promote truth, knowledge and wisdom. Stay tuned. There is plenty more to come.

  23. Cliff. This is powerful stuff my brotha. Hopefully i can add something to the blog as well.

    1. Author

      Thanks brotha! Anytime you want to drop knowledge, I’m all for it.

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